tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 1, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
state of emergency. in oklahoma last night they introduced an emergency bill to keep transgender people from using the bathroom. that's right. this is the bill. it declares, quote, for the preservation of the public health and safety, an emergency is hereby to exist. this is a good time to call your family members in oklahoma to make sure they're okay. how can this be an emergency? how many transgender people can there be in oklahoma? four. who do you call when a man walks into a women's bathroom dressed as a woman, the fashion police? wherever you are, i am here to help you during this bathroom emergencies. i have had bathroom emergencies. this is not one of them. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i once had to abandon my car in the left lane of traffic, get in and run into an
asian restaurant called pick up sticks, by the way. that was a bathroom emergency. this is -- i'll tell you something. this will all change when i'm vice president of these united states. please, bring out the podium. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i want to have this podium because i have a major announcement to make. my fellow americans, though i have only been officially running for vice president for eight days, those who know me know i've been fighting for common sense issues for my entire adult life, and at the top of my list, my number one issue is this. these insanely long receipts they give you at cvs. number one. [ applause ] >> i don't know about you, but i want to live in an america where the receipt you get for buying one roll of toilet paper is shorter than the roll of toilet paper. i've been talking about this for years. i've yelled and screamed.
i personally asked president obama to do something about this. he did nothing, and then something changed. i declared my candidacy for vice president, and out of nowhere we got a phone call from the president of cvs pharmacy. she's with us to make a major announcement. please welcome helena folks. [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming, helena. please, tell us why you're here tonight. >> well, thanks to you, jimmy, we knew our customers were very concerned about the length of our receipts. >> jimmy: they were too long. >> they were too long. and while we're always worried about the concerns of our customers, when you announced your candidacy for vice president, we took those concerns even more seriously. >> jimmy: thank you. [ applause ] >> so i'm here tonight to
announce that cvs is moving our receipts to be digital. [ applause ] >> jimmy: no paper. >> and if you're one of our 70 million extra care members, you'll be able to sign up, choose digital receipts and you'll never receive a paper printout from us again. >> jimmy: that is great news. when will this go into effect? >> this is starting very soon, and, in fact, it will be available at all 7900 cvs locations by the end of june. >> jimmy: that's all thanks to who? >> this is all thanks to you, jimmy kimmel. [ applause ] >> this is all thanks to you, vice president kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you. victory. thank you very much.
[ applause ] >> jimmy: this is the kind of results i get. before a single vote has even been counted i'm doing things. you're welcome, america. there you go. there will be no littering when i'm vice president either. oh. hey. we have a great show for you tonight. bryan cranston is here with us tonight. he's a wonderful man and actor. he's promoting his new hbo movie about lyndon b johnson and how he lost his virginity. he went all the way. bryan turned 60 in march. it's a milestone, and mtv was on hand to document the whole thing, and they gave us the exclusive premier.
nobody has seen this. here it is. we are all invited to bryan cranston's birthday. >> i'm turning 60 in a few weeks and my super sweet 60th has to be turned. ♪ >> hi, i'm bryan cranston, six time emmy award winning actor. i'm sexy. i'm cute. and i love the spotlight. despite my success i still live at home with my mother and father in california. i'm their little superstar. >> you need to have a very good breakfast. it's really important. >> are you two both the party planner or what? >> i'm meeting with him tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m.
>> we're meeting? no, this is my party. >> somebody got to watch the budget. >> budget? dad, this is my time to shine bright like a diamond. shine bright like a diamond. in the sky. i swear to god, if my parents make me plan this party like i'm a poor person, i will lose my [ bleep ]. [ bleep ] will be lost, bible. >> we need you to be reasonable. >> reasonable? were you reasonable in skipping my broadway debut because of your dialysis? did either of you think about my feelings? >> oh. >> just set up the party planner. try to be good parents. get away from me. >> bryan can be difficult, but deep down he's really a sweet boy. >> he's an ass.
write it down. i said it. >> who's ready to party? i'm a party planner. i plan parties for ice t and cocoa. i'm looking forward to meeting bryan. our first theme theme, hawaiian bryan. we could have coconuts, or maybe that obese man who sang over the rainbow? >> he's dead. >> i'm so sorry. we have others. show business. you're in show business. lights, camera, cranston. hello, everyone. >> how original. no. >> this is one that's called hots off to bryan, and people would wear different hats? >> you are the link [ bleep ] of ideas. i couldn't believe what he was proposing. i need to make sure that jimmy
sees my vision crystal clear. my sweet 60 has to be ferocious. do you understand? >> did he just say ferocious? >> he did, ferocious. >> i'm so glad you said that, because i do have one more idea. we didn't make a poster for it. but get this. the bryan king. like the lion king but with your name in place of the word lion. bryan. the king of the jungle. roar. >> uh-huh, uh-huh. roaring your way to 60. okay. can we get a lion? >> a real lion? >> a real lion. >> yes. yes. of course. yes. >> no, i mean one that actually ate some people. >> guillermo can get that. >> i'll take care of it. >> he's mexican. >> you'd be the king.
>> bryan, honey, the budget. >> bryan, honey, the budget. shut up, mom. >> yeah, mom, could you zip it for a little while? >> thank you. >> she's your only child. he's your mufasa. was he the good one? >> yeah. >> this is your lion king. >> the bryan king. music. >> i love that. >> i want cisco. "the thong song," hello. >> oh, yeah. the thong -- yes. >> the thong song. >> such a good song. i think we have a party. >> the thong, thong, thong, thong, thong. >> we're a thong wearing family. we all wear thongs. >> show us your thongs. >> coming up next on my super sweet 60. ♪ >> yo, that's whack tight. >> yeah, and my balls aren't giving me camel toe, are they? ♪
>> we have to take a break. when we come back, part two of my super sweet 60. stick around. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything. well, i know you asked me to call you the at&t hostess with the mostest. okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line.
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you know what it means.
so does pat toomey. toomey got rich working on wall street. then he got elected and kept working, for wall street. voting to let banks continue their risky practices. and supporting huge tax breaks for millionaires, but higher taxes on working families. no wonder he's gotten millions from wall street. pat toomey. right for wall street. wrong for pennsylvania. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight joanna newsom and anika knownmy rose, but now it's time for part two of bryan cranston's sweet 60. >> it has to be ferocious. the bryan king. >> i think we have a party. ♪
>> i am fully right now. fully. in addition to jim and the kroen handler, by besty is coming over to help me pick out the most bomb ass outfit. >> make my boy, bryan look tight. >> you look like a sleepy refugee. that hat's too hatty. yo, that's tight. >> yeah? and my balls are not giving me camel toe, are they? >> that's perfect toe. >> that's what i'm talking about. >> yes. >> are you ready to try on some crowns? >> i am. >> i want to try on some too. >> no. it's my day. it's my day. >> put this on your head, your majesty.
>> you may. >> you look great. >> more. >> two. >> ha ha ha. >> more. >> no way. >> three. >> there can't be more than that. >> give me another one. give me another one. ♪ >> no way. >> i want another one. >> but they're stacked so high. >> i want another crown. >> it's not safe. >> it's my party. ♪ >> i feel like i'm so much better than any of you. [ laughter ] >> did you find a crown? >> i found five, dad. >> do you need help picking one
out? >> mom, i'm not picking one out. i would never be taken seriously if at my own party i wear the same crown all night? >> but, please, between the crowns and the car you want, we can't afford it. >> if my parents mention the [ bleep ] budget one more time, i'm going to pop off. >> it's the crown and the lambo, okay? that's all i asked for, and the party. that's it. and cisco, and that was it. and you guys are so selfish. >> come through for your boy. boom. >> you are ruining my party, and you are ruining my life. ♪
>> okay. you can have three crowns. >> five. >> okay, five. we're going to be dead soon anyway. [ cheering ] >> thank you, dad. i'll buy you a beautiful casket. >> yeah. >> coming up next on my super sweet 60. >> so far this has been the worst night of my life, and i -- i don't know how it can get my worse. ♪ >> so a dramatic conclusion, part three of three to my super sweet 60 later on. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from joanna newsom, from "roots" anika noni rose, and we'll be right back with super sweet bryan cranston.
>> jimmy: tonight, from a new, re-imagined version of the classic mini-series "roots," anika noni rose is here. then, her new album is called "divers," the great joanna newsom from the samsung stage. next week we'll be joined by some very big names including donald trump, bernie sanders, johnny depp, colin farrell, kyle chandler, brad paisley, and demi lovato pink will perform out on hollywood boulevard. it will be a wonder to watch. and i hope you do. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is one of the great actors with a tony, a golden globe, and six emmys to prove it. he plays l-b-j in the new movie "all the way." >> hook here. this here is the seal of the presidency of the united states. there's only two cuff links like this in the entire world, and you now own them both. i want you to wear them.
think about what i said, huh? you look good, bill. i'll bet you dropped a few pounds. i'm going to need another set of those cuff links. >> jimmy: "all the way" premieres tomorrow night on hbo. please welcome bryan cranston. [ applause ] >> good to see you. >> jimmy: you look very handsome. >> you know, i wanted to do a little shoutout for guillermo, because every time that there is a red carpet across the street, he is there with the tequila, like a postman, dedicated to delivering his message. >> jimmy: like that st. bernard with the wooden barrel. that's nice. it's a nice thing for you to do.
you're a nice guy in general, and you're fantastic in this movie. it's unbelievable how much you look like lbj and sound like him. you really became him. >> i have two facial qualities that i share with lbj that every man would love to have, and that's beaty eyes and thin lips. i had a head start. >> jimmy: i saw you in the broadway play version. that was fantastic. did you have as much makeup. >> i don't know how to attach the prosthetic makeup well, so all i did were the ear drops. i glued on the ear drops that added more to the ears. he had huge ear, and that was it. then i put gray in my air and put a dimple. >> one of the great things about lbj is he would hold meetings when he was on the toilet.
people would have to come in and talk to him. >> you say that like it's a strange thing. >> jimmy: the only other person that i've heard, i don't know for sure if they did it or was, but tommy lasorta. supposedly he cut players in the bathroom. >> they're already feeling bad, like oh, i'm going to make your life better. you're cut. you don't have to see me take a crap anymore. >> jimmy: that's true, though. >> it is true. he used to put people back on their heels by continuing the conversation from the oval office to the private bathroom. follow me in here, i can't understand what the hell you're saying. sit here. hand me that roll of toilet paper there. and he would just do -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how far are we going to take this? [ applause ]
>> you want me to sign that? >> jimmy: you've already done that, yeah. by the way, the day we shot your super sweet 60 was the day "the new york times" article, it was a conversation, three people, two of them you and president obama. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that was pretty great. was that fun for you? >> it was the idea of the writer of the new york times, phil, and he had to call the white house first, of course. >> jimmy: sure. >> what do you think about this idea, and then they said yes, we'd like to do that. then he called me and so the message i got was we have this table for three idea. the president has already approved what would you say? are you in or out, and it's like hm, well, you know. >> jimmy: it's nice that they first checked with the president. it would be terrible if they asked you and then they called and said he doesn't want to do it with you.
>> not going to happen. >> jimmy: you guys have something in common that you dressed almost identically. [ applause ] >> obama. i said obama, are you there? are you wearing blue? are i'm wearing blue. >> jimmy: so you went for him as halloween, and there you are in the oval office dressed the same. >> that was a total accident. >> jimmy: that was fun to read. >> it was a lot of fun, and i was very honored to be in that office. >> jimmy: do you do other presidents besides johnson? do you do obama or trump? >> i don't do obama. i could do a little bit of bernie. >> jimmy: good. >> i want to be in the white house. i will be there. there's a pathway to the white house. um, um, i just can't figure out where it is. i need to go to the bathroom.
[ applause ] >> jimmy: brian canston is here. his movie is "all the way". it premiers tomorrow on hbo. when we come back, the conclusion to my super sweet 60. we'll be right back. downy put a gopro in a washing machine to show you how the laundry process wreaks havoc on your clothes thrashing them 3,000 times every wash. crushing them with 60 times the g-force of a rocket launch and baking them in a dryer that can get hot enough... ...to cook ribs. detergent alone is not enough. add downy fabric conditioner... ...to help protect clothes from stretching, fading and fuzz. learn more at howdownyworks.com
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night at eight on hbo. he had a big birthday. we got to see the first two parts. here it is, the conclusion to my super sweet 60. >> previously on my super sweet 60. >> oh, thank you, dad. i'll buy you a beautiful casket. ♪ so today is the day. it's time to party. ♪ [ lion king music ] >> i cannot wait to see my people's faces when they see me make my grand entrance. ♪ [ applause ]
[ roaring like a lion ] >> you look just like a lion, yo. >> stop it. quiet. everything stops. where is jimmy? i need to see jimmy right now. jimmy. jimmy. >> are you having fun my birthday king? >> no. there is a big sign across my birthday stage that says the brion king and that's not how i spell my name. >> but we went with ion like lion. let's get another crown on your head. i think this will make you much happier. >> it says brion. >> on purpose.
>> oh, the spelling is wrong. stupid unicorn. >> i know bryan is real famous, but he's an [ bleep ]. >> i'm going to come back here and pretend that i wasn't here. i'm just -- so far this has been the worst night of my life, and i -- i don't know how it can get any worse. ♪ >> no. no. no. no. no. >> hey. >> no. >> no what? >> not going to poach my look at my party. okay? go home and change. >> are you serious? >> go home and change. right now. funny, bryan. >> i carried your ass for six years, and you're not going to
wow. >> you know what? you know when i told you i said i loved it? guess what, i didn't even see your movie. oh, no. i didn't see trumbo. yeah. happy birthday, bitch. >> yeah. bye. tell it walks. >> oh, boohoo. >> i wore it best, and bryan knows it. ♪ >> hey, everybody. is everyone having a wild time? [ cheers ] >> no. >> are you happy? >> no. ♪ happy birthday to you >> no. move. >> stop singing. no one but cisco sings at my
party. >> do you want to blow those out? >> yes. [ engine revving ] ♪ >> get out of my way. get out of my way. [ screaming ] >> yeah. >> get out -- >> get out. >> i belong in it. don't i? daddy, lift me up like simba. i feel like a king. >> bryan, we have one more surprise for you. pop the hood. >> no. >> pop it. pop it. >> i was in that trunk for,
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>> jimmy: our next guest is a tony award-winning actress whom you know from "dream girls" and your daughters ears know from "the princess and the frog." she plays kizzy in a new update of the classic mini-series "roots." it premiers may 30 on history, please welcome anika noni rose. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i don't want to stare, but i am already staring, because you posted something on
facebook a couple of hours ago. you said, and i've written it down, just to make sure i don't feel too good about it. the universe made sure to provide me with a pimple in the middle of my week. you know what? they hid it pretty well. >> i talked to the universe, and benzoyl peroxide. we worked on that thing. >> jimmy: i see it. will you allow me to pop it on television? >> if you can find it, you can pop it. >> jimmy: isn't that the worse. it's weird when you're an adult and it's like this is supposed to be over. and here they are again, and yet, i also love them in a way, and i welcome them. >> because it proves that you're still vital. >> jimmy: no. i just like to watch them splatter all over. it's true. i don't know what else to say about it. it's been a while since you were here. >> yes. >> jimmy: you did that children's movie. what was the movie? >> that little thing called
"princess and the frog" nod i was talking to bryan about president obama. you were on broadway at the same time bryan was doing his show. >> i was. the president came to our show first [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when there's a famous person in the audience at a show you're doing on broadway, do you want to know they're there? >> no. i actively tell people do not tell me. there was steve mcqueen came to our show, and that show happened to be a not great show for me. our energy was bumping against each other and i was like that wasn't a great show, and i walked downstairs and there was steve mcqueen, and i -- i died the death of 10,000 doves in my heart. so i don't want to know while it's happening so then i can continue to do my show own not be on stage thinking -- >> jimmy: can you see the people? >> i can't see them. i can see you almost.
>> jimmy: the president and the first lady both came to the show. that has to be a big deal with secret service. >> there is no surprise. don't bring an extra snack. your bags and you are being searched. the blocks were blocked off before you got to our street. you had to go through secret service. there was nothing secret about it. it started very, very late, and the audience was so amped, and i think if i'm remembering correctly, like, denzel came out and there was a huge burst of applause and i was like they're really loving denzel tonight. they were loving president obama. >> jimmy: did he walk in midway through the play? >> no. i think a lot of people all of a sudden realized he was there. >> jimmy: they didn't know why they were being searched? >> if the president is coming to you or you're going to them, you never know if it's really going to happen. >> jimmy: i see.
>> for security. it might happen, or it might be you and your friends with each other. >> jimmy: overall a positive experience? >> very positive. >> jimmy: and now you're in "roots". this is a reimagining. what's the difference between a remake and a re-imagine. >> the remake will stay the course of the original thing. because it's 40 years after the original, we just, because of research, were able to have a lot more information about particularly about what the in africa. we now know where he came from was an extraordinarily developed area with universities, scholarship, libraries, a huge city. people on horse back who were warriors. it was not the small, a couple of huts. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what it was. >> not because they didn't do the research. they just didn't have the skills we have now with dna and carbon
dating and google. >> jimmy: you're probably too young to remember when that mini series was on. it was, i think, 130 million people watched it. i remember everyone was watching that, and it was such -- did you watch the mini series? >> i was too little to watch it. >> jimmy: i mean later on. >> yes. i saw it with my family. i saw it in junior high. i had an amazing conversation. there was a group of people from japan interested in possibly bringing the new one there. they said the term roots was coined from the movie. so when in japan they speak of searching for roots or your roots, they use that word -- it is now in their language because of the original movie. >> jimmy: that's crazy. that movie was a huge deal. congratulations on the mini series. >> thank you. >> jimmy: anika noni rose! "roots," it premiers may 30 at 8pm on history.
>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank bryan cranston, anika noni rose, and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, her album is called "divers" here with the song "sapokanikan," joanna newsom! ♪ ♪ the cause is ozymandian the map of sapokanikan is sanded and beveled the land lone and leveled ♪ ♪ by some unrecorded and powerful hand which plays along the monument ♪ ♪ and drums upon a plastic bag the brave men and women so dear to god ♪
♪ and famous to all of the ages rag sing do you love me will you remember ♪ ♪ the snow falls above me the renderer renders the event is in the hand of god ♪ ♪ beneath a patch of grass her bones the old dutch master hid while elsewhere ♪ ♪ tobias and the angel disguised what the scholars surmised was a ♪ ♪ mother and kid interred with other daughters in dirt in other potter's fields ♪
♪ above them parades mark the passing of days through parks where ♪ ♪ pale colonnades arch in marble and steel where all of the twenty thousand attending ♪ ♪ your foot fall and the cause that they died for are lost in the ♪ ♪ idling birdcalls and the records they left are cryptic at best lost in obsolescence ♪ ♪ the text will not yield nor x-ray reveal with any fluorescence where the hand of ♪ ♪ the master begins and ends i fell i tried to do well but i won't be ♪ ♪ will you tell the one that i loved to remember and hold me i call and call ♪ ♪ for the doctor but the snow swallows me whole with old florry walker ♪ ♪ the event lives only in print
he said it's alright and it's all over now ♪ ♪ and boarded the plane his belt unfastened the boy was known to show unusual daring ♪ ♪ and called a boy this alderman confounding tammany hall in whose employ ♪ ♪ king tamanend himself preceded john's fall so we all raise a standard to which ♪ ♪ the wise and honest soul may repair to which a hunter a hundred years from now ♪ ♪ may look and despair and see with wonder the tributes we have left to ♪ ♪ rust in the park swearing that our hair stood on end to see john ♪ ♪ purroy mitchel depart for the western front where work might count all exeunt all go out ♪
this is "nightline." >> tonight, she had a picture perfect life, getting paid big bucks to post. but now the popular mommy blogger says she was living a lie. >> it consumed my life. >> stage, shot and filters for likes. zblnchs plus meet the guys making millions by selling their products on amazon. we go inside one company moving 20,000 packages a way, adjusting their prices by the hour. and finally same of sexism. he's back in the dead and has a lot to say. john snow feeling the sting of sexism. but first, the "nightline" five. >> if your family outing is magical for